Feelings for u

Hey it’s me.

I just wanted to say that I miss you. I got to thinking yesterday and I ran across one of our old pictures. I’m still full of questions and I’m not really quite sure if I’ll have enough time to ask them.

Do you ever wonder about me?

Like

The way I wonder about you?

I wonder if you’re alright…

cause the last time we spoke… you didn’t seem alright. But that’s not my place anymore

So

I can’t ask….

Do you even think about what would happened

And wonder…

Where we would be if it didn’t?

I do

But that probably makes me sound really crazy because I should just let you go, right?

I should just drop everything I knew about you and pretend that we never even happened?

Pretend I didn’t approach you and try to build a bond that I know I messed up. But I can’t pretend that didn’t happen.

I saw so much going for you, you know?

So much positivity…..

Even though you never failed to push me back down.

I’m not blaming you though

And of course like every other text I have been trying to come up with in my head, this isn’t coming out the way that I wanted it to be.

But I just wanna know.

Did you actually care about me?

Or was it really just a game?

Like, you befriended me. And then it actually became legit. And things both went wrong in our own lives. And then you got stuck with me.

And then you just decided you didn’t need me anymore and you needed a reason. You needed a reason to hate me so you could shut me out. And then I wouldn’t be trying to text you so many times or call you, right?

That’s what it was, right?

Because I meant literally noting to you.

And if that’s not true. Then show me how it’s not true. Because something like what we had doesn’t just crash and burn, after somebody’s mistake. You’re supposed to grow. And you never let me grow, and you’re afraid to let that show, aren’t you?

You’re afraid for everyone to know that you were the bad one. It wasn’t just me. But it’s okey. Because one day, they’ll all know. We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?

And after a month and a half. I found myself calling you memory, and I never wanted that. Cause I wanted us to last, you know? I wanted our future. But you just didn’t want that anymore…. but I guess understand.

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