I want you to stay

You know that feeling when you feel alone. You feel like you’ve got no one to talk to you. I have never had that one person who I could call or text at any time. I have had friends yes! But one after one have left. Even though they said they would never leave which is funny because because now they’re gone from my life. I always feel so happy when there comes a new person who wants to get to know me but once we start to talk it’s just stopped. What’s why I have learned to never tell anyone about my story. Why I am the person I am and why I don’t have any friends. Because In the end I know they will leave. So many people who I have trusted in the past and who knows my story and my life. I trusted all of them with all my heart I opened my heart and my soul for every single one of them. And yet people are always asking me. Why is it so hard to trust you? And I always reply to them, “because those who I have trusted, broken my heart” all those people who I saw as “friends” have one way or another broken my heart. Someone has just ghosted me after months of talking and video call and I opened up to that person I considered that person as my friend and no I do feel so stupid for ever thinking that person was a “friend” and yet I didn’t think about it was weird when that person kept saying “I’m a shitty friend” well I’m stupid I guess for even spent my time on you. I hate when I use all my time on people who in the end breaks my heart. Okey I might be stupid for even thinking I could trust someone after just months of talking but yeah I don’t know it’s just how I felt the person were gonna stay. I was so wrong. And then we have the old friend haha sorry for laughing but over 9 years as friend and yet I still get reminded of that person. Either from fake accounts or from family member. Telling me that I’m obsessed with “him” like trust me when someone breaks me that bad because some family member of my one time friend, kept telling my friend lies about me, kept saying that I ruined his life. Not enough with that but to be told that I should leave someone alone because they know the “friend” of mine so yeah that “friend” I trusted completely and I didn’t though it would go this far to get over someone to actually move on. Okey we aren’t friends anyone but I don’t want to be reminded of you. And yes there is so many lies you have been told about me that for a moment I was thinking that the person wanted me out of your life because never in my life I have I got so much BS from someone and so many lies just so that “friend” of mine decided to end the friendship after over 9 years. It’s incredible how much people get involved in other’s business like let people be friends with whoever they want to friends with. You have a problem with that, then don’t break up the friendship because you don’t like that friend. Stay away and be with your friends instead. I just wish I could get one person who could stay in life if i only get one I’m so happy.

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